Meaningful Gift Giving: Creating Memories, Not Clutter
Back when our kids were younger (they’re grown now, though the memories still live bright), we began to feel just a bit squeezed—financially and emotionally—by the rising tide of holiday expectations. Even our usually thoughtful kids had started handing over wish lists that made us blink a few times. So one year, instead of caving to the “buy more” pressure, we began asking: What would an authentic season of giving look like for our family?
We started prioritizing experiences over stuff.
One of my favorite memories is the year we received family tickets to the traveling Broadway show Mary Poppins. It gave us a reason to dress up, head downtown for snacks in the city, and text photos of ourselves in front of the glittering gold of the theater. That gift became a lifetime memory.
Experiences can be as simple as taking someone out for a meal or a “movie date night.” The elderly and kids alike often treasure company even more than the gift itself. I still cherish taking my theater-loving teen to a Christmas night showing of Les Misérables—it was a big deal to see the opening night of this dazzling grown-up movie, late on what was usually a family night. This shared memory is a treasure for both of us.
Depending on your budget, a day or annual pass to a nearby children’s museum, zoo, or recreation center can bring fun all year long. Many museums even offer reciprocal passes across the country—perfect for summer vacation adventures.
Our kids always thought winter swimming was hysterical fun (the joy of indoor pools here in Michigan!). Gifts like swim lessons, rec center passes, or overnights at the local indoor waterpark have brought laughter and warmth through the long grey season while we wait for Spring.
Consider family-centered presents: wooden block sets, hammocks, craft kits, or good old board games. One year, a customer at our store created a single family basket filled with seeds, trowels, and springtime treasures—a lovely way to nurture togetherness. Last year I gave yummy tea blends and a cute tea press along with the Herbal Tea Essentials mini-course to friends, which got them off to an easy start for a healthy winter. Especially during the younger years, we tried to minimize electronics and short-lived plastic toys and tried to emphasize gifts that encouraged exploring and learning. Solid wooden toys can last generations, while books, puzzles, pocketknives, craft kits, or small looms can hold their value throughout the year.
How about a scavenger hunt poem? It can take the kids all over the house, the property, or to the grandparents with historical family questions. You could give them all sorts of fun challenges with this question in mind: "What memory do I want to build? What gift of history, love or connection do I want them to have?”
Find your special ‘Gifts from the Heart’ by focusing on the events, resources, or themes going on in your family this year.
Handmade presents are simple, thoughtful, and often the most loved. They don’t have to be year-long creative productions - think scented lotions or essential oil sprays, homemade granola in a jar, or thrifted treasures repurposed for a dress-up trunk. One year, our boys (yes, boys!) made knitted bookmarks still in use today, while Grandma’s favorite gifts were the felt hearts stitched and stuffed by tiny preschool hands. Another favorite has been making soft or hard-cover books of family photos high-lighting a special family event, trip, memory, or treasured elderly family member. What are the kids ‘into’? Could they 3-D print an obscure but needed part for granddad?
For years, our household’s most popular gifts were coupons. Our most popular coupons have included a:
“No thank you” coupon (which got them out of a chore for the day)
Bedtime back rub or foot massage
Date with a parent
I’ll do your dishes
One piece of chocolate from the special downtown chocolate shop
There were playful ones too!
I’ll play whatever game you want all afternoon (older brother to younger brother)
Future laser tag afternoon with friends
“Stay up all night on New Year’s Eve” (for the 10-year-old who couldn’t wait to try!)
I once gave the 9-year-old who was enamored with avocado sushi a home “sushi night” we made together every Tuesday for several months.
I learned from experience to build in ground rules: they had to be in good standing to redeem coupons such as opting out of chores and needed to give at least a half hour notice to fit in a bedtime back rub.
One year the kids and I gave their Auntie a 'Date-a-Month' for the coming year.
Each month had a theme that fit with its season - including bowling, swimming, games & chili, sledding fest, summer hike & picnic, monopoly Saturday, and downtown exploration with ice cream. It stretched out the fun and my single mom budget with simple expenses over a whole year. It also included the kids in the decision-making and planning, and placed emphasis on the far most valuable commodity ~ memory-making.
I still love the old saying: “Something to wear, something to read, something to play with, something they need.”
Some years I dream of paring down just that far. Have you ever tried it? Keep in mind when your children are little that you are shaping the holiday gift expectations of the future by drowning them in ‘stuff.’ If you have an ideal tradition you have in mind, normalize it from the beginning.
And don’t be afraid to buck the “Amazon list” trend. The year we organized swimming lessons as a collaborative gift—from us and the grandparents—was one of the best. The kids learned real skills, we gained winter-long fun, and nothing needed batteries. This thoughtful gift giving can be quite fun with mom friends too, there’s lots of ideas for them in my blog, Mom Gifts That Aren’t Dumb.
So, how do you celebrate your family or faith in this season?
However you observe, may your giving reflect your deepest spirit—love, presence, and joy shared in ways that truly last.